Over the years, I have browsed dozens of “gift guides”. Sometimes, these guides focus on a certain age of child, or on toy-free gifts, or “gifts for the mom who says she doesn’t need anything” (the type I most frequently peruse – what it is about moms?) But what I really need is a gift guide that gives me boundaries.
Often times, these gift guides make me tempted to buy more than I ought, and certainly more than my kids need. These lists of gift ideas can be fun, and even helpful, but how do you pare down the vast sea of ideas into a handful of gifts? What I need is a gift guide to give me guardrails and guidelines for buying presents for my kids.
Today, I want to offer some ideas for structuring giving gifts to your children. A very different gift guide for kids.
The reason for the gift guide
In our household, we celebrate each of our five children’s births (and of course Christmas) between October and January. It makes for a very cake-filled fall and winter, and honestly, it is a lot of fun. It also means we are buying a LOT of gifts this time of year.
Over the years, we have different patterns for the gifts we gave, perhaps a number for each kid, or a guideline for what type of gifts we gave. This year, I wanted to create, write down, and follow, a gift guide for birthday presents. This is partly because we love buying our kids gifts, and we can so easily get carried away. And because our kids’ birthdays come in such rapid-fire succession, it feels especially important to have some consistency with the amount and types of gifts each child receives.
This year’s gift guide
This year, we are following the following template:
Something they want,
Something they need,
A quiet activity,
And a sweet little ditty.
This is four gifts, with some clear guidelines, but a good deal of flexibility.
1. Something they want
This is pretty self-explanatory. A gift they want – a gift that has been asked for, sometimes repeatedly and annoyingly. This gift is so exciting to open, and also shows that child that we heard your request, and we love to give you what you want.
Please note, this is a single gift. This means you are not giving your child every gift they ask for, and it may not even be the gift they have asked for the most or the loudest. Our almost-four year old will not be receiving a motorcycle for his birthday. None of our kids will be receiving the flashy toys they caught sight of in the Amazon catalogue that so rudely made its way into our mailbox.
Those toys that caught their attention on a glossy page, that do not fit my lived understanding of what makes a good toy (read more about what makes a toy a good toy in THIS POST) will not make the cut in this gift guide.
For the younger kids, who aren’t quite at the stage of requesting certain gifts, we buy them something we know they will really like – something fun, and usually a “toy” type gift.
Amazon Wishlists
One way I keep track of wanted gifts is with Amazon wishlists. Though we may choose to buy gifts from another store (maybe even secondhand!) these lists are an easy and sharable way to keep a list of ideas. Our kids have grandparents and an aunt who love to buy Christmas and birthday presents – and they often want to buy our kids something they want. This is an easy way to share ideas.
The added benefit is that when one of my kids sees something they want, maybe nearing a meltdown about wanting it a store, or obsessing over it in a catalogue, I say: “Let’s add it to your wishlist!” This is surprisingly helpful, as it shows that kid I am listening and hear what they want, and am also clearly communicating we don’t just buy things because we see them and want them. Practically speaking, it is a great way to build a list of ideas throughout the year. When Grandma ask what someone wants for Christmas, I can send a whole list of ideas.
2. Something they need
Another simple category of gifts. This is something your kid needs, and you would be buying for them at some point any way. For us, these gifts are mostly clothing (anything from a new pair of leggings to a winter coat), but they could be non-clothing gifts, too. Maybe a new bike helmet, something for school or a sport, or new bedding. One year, our kids received matching cozy blankets for their beds, and I can assure it was a favorite and still-beloved gift.
3. A quiet activity
This is a new category for us this year, but has been a fun and helpful addition to our gift guide. I also think of this as a “Mama-approved activity”.
Ideas for this category:
- puzzles
- craft kits
- pixel or sticker-by-number books
- bead sets (our daughter got a big set of pop beads this year)
- art supplies
- a new or beloved book series
4. A sweet little ditty
This is the part of the gift guide that leaves room for a fun little something.
For our family, this means another gift to unwrap, which is fun, and it also leaves room for those little gifts that either don’t fit the categories above, or are just too fun to leave out.
Some ideas for this category:
- stickers
- a favorite treat
- punch balloons
- nail polish
- a stuffed animal
- hair accessories
- baseball cards
- a book of Mad Libs
- Hot Wheel cars
This year, my daughter’s sweet little ditty was pink and purple nail polish. She had asked for pink and purple nail polish so that she could paint her nails to match her big brother’s soccer team colors for the end of season cup. How could I NOT do that?!
Other gift guide templates
This gift guide is of course not the only way to structure your children’s gifts. I have heard (and used) several different guidelines over the years. Here are just a few to spark ideas:
- Want, Need, Read – This was the first guideline I heard, and is what inspired our family to think in gift categories. We don’t follow this guide any longer because we are a family who buys books somewhat regularly throughout the year, as we find them at thrift stores and other places, and we have an over-filled wall of books that simply doesn’t need any help this year.
- Body, Mind, Soul – This would be something for the body (clothes, or sports/activity equipment like a scooter, a soccer ball, or a jump rope), something for the mind (a book, a puzzle, an activity book, etc.), and something for the soul (a new Bible, a devotion book, etc.)
- Want, Wear, Wonder – This would be something they want, something to wear, and something to inspire wonder (a book, a learning activity, a trip to an interesting place…the sky is the limit here!)
- Head, Heart, Hands, Home – This is an idea from Erica at Paper Heart Home. In one of her “What I got my kids for Christmas” videos, she explains the system she uses with her children. Watch it HERE to learn more about these categories (and a list of how she implemented it with each of her children).
- The other option, of course, is to make any combination of the ideas given here to fit your family’s culture, budget, and needs. Maybe “Want, Need, Wear, Read”, or simply “Something they want and something they need.”
Make it your own!
I hope our family’s gift guide template sparks some of your own ideas, especially as we approach Christmas. In our culture of advertising, cheap toys, and “must buy” lists, it is so easy to become overwhelmed, and even easier to over-do it.
By creating some boundaries before we begin buying gifts, we set ourselves up to be purposeful and thoughtful. Giving intentionally is a gift to our kids – we avoid burdening them with too much, and we show them true care in our choices. Intentionality is also a wonderful habit to model for them as they learn to buy and give.
May we be intentional and thoughtful with our gift giving this year!